By shaking their hand or standing in a particular way, we might trigger off old memories in the person we are trying to impress. Maybe an old friend stood exactly like that, in which case our advances might be treated sympathetically. But if we stand like the back-stabbing colleague who has treated them badly, our advances are likely to be treated as hostile.

So there are two reasons why body language is helpful.

Firstly, to understand how we come across to other people and be able to send the right message – “Trust me, I’m not out to get you!”

And secondly be able to read the signals that another person is sending back.

By adjusting the way we stand, move, dress and interact we can make encounters with other human beings (and probably most animals too!) much easier and smoother.

So, what exactly is Body Language?

Body Language is all the non-verbal communication we make – both conscious and unconscious.

HOW WE JUDGE OTHER PEOPLE AND HOW THEY JUDGE US:

A huge part of our judgements of other people and their judgements on us are VISUAL. Studies have suggested over 50% of these judgements are VISUAL.

How do we stand? How aggressive or non-threatening are our gestures? How do our eyes, skin, hair, clothes and shoes look? Do we look happy or sad, clean or untidy, confident or nervous, tired or awake?

Another large part of these judgements will be made by listening to someone’s VOICE – the resonance, timbre, volume, pitch and pacing.

Just how important is it?

And some studies suggest that only 7% of our judgements are based on WHAT WE ACTUALLY SAY! To be fair these studies were usually taken when the body language was not CONGRUENT (that means where the body was giving signals that were disagreeing with what was being said).

The actual figures can be disputed but there is no doubt that a huge part of an audience’s judgement is VISUAL and VOCAL.

People spend hours honing a script for their speech, choosing exactly the right words – and of course that is highly important – but, it must be worth also paying close attention to the VISUAL and VOCAL judgements that audiences are making of you every time you stand up to speak!

Different types of body language

There are basically five types of body language. You will probably be able to recognise the more obvious signs:

CLOSED – AGGRESSIVE body language

• Hands on hips
• Legs too wife – too macho
• Invading personal space – too close
• Aggressive gesturing – finger pointing
• Standing ‘over’ someone
• Over firm handshake
• ‘Eye balling’ – out staring

CLOSED – DEFENSIVE body language

• Crossed arms or legs
• Hunched shoulders
• Poor eye contact
• Leaning away
• Tight voice

CLOSED – NERVOUS body language

• Nail biting
• Dry throat – swallowing / coughing
• Blushing – face/neck/chest
• Weak handshake
• Avoiding eye contact

CLOSED – BORED body language

• Looking around the room
• Looking at watch
• Drumming fingers
• Yawning
• Shifting weight
• Rubbing face

OPEN – INTERESTED body language

• Firm handshake
• Good eye contact
• On the same level
• Confident stance
• Confident gestures – chosen gestures
• Showing interest – head nod / slight lean in

And from personal experience

We all know that we ‘close off ‘ in a lift to feel safer as our personal space is invaded. We look up or down and cross our arms. This is an obvious case of ‘closed’ body language. It might be appropriate in a lift but in most other situations, it will ‘close’ the other person down. They will not respond to our advances. So learning to give ‘open’ signals will literally ‘open’ people up to our ideas and advances.

Most of us know the well-recognised ‘closed’ or ‘aggressive;’ signals, but we give off far more subtle signals all the time that we might not even be aware of.

Getting is right

Your body has to be in CONGRUENCE – that means we’re giving off signals that are in tune with what we are saying.

If you say, “This has been a terrible month.” We would probably take it on face value (literally what your face is saying) and be downcast.

But if you said, “This has been a terrible month” followed immediately with a smile and a wink of your eye, we will assume it has actually been a great month.

A smile needs to fill the whole face. If you say you’re happy but your eyes are cold – even though your mouth is smiling – we will believe the eyes.

If you nod when saying yes or shake your head when saying YES, we believe what the head is doing, no the words you have used.

Seeing is believing

We always believe what we see far more that what we hear.

In the 1960 TV debate between John F Kennedy and Richard Nixon, both candidates answered well. But on a poll conducted the next day, there were completely different results between TV and radio audiences – between those who had seen and heard and those who had only heard.

Listeners on radio were convinced Nixon had won the debate, his arguments were clear. And viewers on TV were convinced Kennedy had won, he came across as likeable and believable. This was despite the fact that Nixon’s arguments were probably clearer. People believed Kennedy more – they bought into his body language and the signals he gave of. They didn’t trust Nixon from the body language he was using.

Influencing other people:

We can learn be aware of how we come across and the signals we give. We can even influence the behaviour of other people by gently MIRRORING back their body language.

You will have seen couples who are newly in love literally mirroring everything the other does. If one reaches for their wine glass, the other will follow. If one touches their chin, the other will. It’s a sign that they’re getting on – that they are quite literally, in sync.

You can change your body language

You can change your body language to show empathy and to influence someone by slowing down your movements or taking away any unintended aggressive body language of your own.

You can learn to relax, calm and excite other people purely by the way you hold yourself, the way you move and the way you interact.

Working with a coach can be really helpful -the coach is a mirror, feeding back how the world ‘sees’ you.

Finally, learning about body language is not all hard work.

Remember, it takes 42 muscles to frown but only 17 to smile!

Try it – it works!

About the author of this body language article

This article was written by Robin, one of Skillstudio’s consultant trainers.

Robin is based in London, is an excellent trainer; and runs many of our body language and public speaking training sessions (from 1-2-1 coaching through to Masterclasses).

You can read his training bio here.

Body Langauage Training

If you’d like Robin or one of Skillstudio’s other trainers to help you become more aware of how your body language can affect the messages you are trying to convey, please get in touch.

We will help you to take control and have more influence with your own body language.  We’ll also provide you with an insight into how to read and respond to the signals being sent out by the very people you are communicating, negotiating or simply living with.

Body Language Awareness Workshops
These 1-day public courses are held in Central London.  These workshops can also be tailored and run on an in-house basis for your organisation throughout the UK and Europe.

Communication Skills Workshops
Our 1-day communication skills workshops also include an element of body language awareness.  Both public courses and in-house workshops are available.

Interpersonal Communication Skills 1-2-1 Coaching
Our 1-2-1 coaching sessions take place throughout the UK and are tailored to your specific requirements and are normally of either a half day or full day’s duration.

Call us today on 08456 444 150 if you want to discuss how our training can help you or your team.

Skillstudio also offer public courses, 1-2-1 coaching and in-house training in many aspects of presentation skills and communication skills, including public speaking, job interview skills, vocal skills and body language awareness.

We hope you found this article useful

Please use the buton below to bookmark this page as a favourite, email it or share it with friends or colleagues.

Why is Body Language important? is one of many articles from Skillstudio Limited providing expert help, tips & advice on how to improve your business communication skills. See Skillstudio Help & Advice for the full list of articles.

Fact or Fiction?

Have you ever heard (or seen) some people mentioning that words only represent 7% of our communication? If so, you might also have heard them mention that tone of voice makes up 38% of our communication and that body language takes up the remaining 55%.

But is this fact or fiction?  Is body language and the tone of voice really that important in all our communications?

Body Langauage Training

If you want some expert training to help you enhance your body langauage awareness then Skillstudio are there to help. We provide:-

Body Language Awareness Workshops
These 1-day public courses are held in Central London and we can also run them for your organisation on an in-house basis throughout the UK and Europe.

Communication Skills Workshops
Our 1-day communication skills workshops also include an element of body language awareness.  Both public courses and in-house workshops are available.

Call us today on 08456 444 150 if you want to discuss how our training can help you or your team.

Body Language accounts for 55% - Fact or Fiction?

Well, it’s really an over-simplification of the research that was conducted by a Dr Mehrabian back in the late 1960’s. Unfortunately this has been misquoted by trainers and other communications experts ever since then.

So what did Mehrabian’s research indicate?

The research did however demonstrate that when applied to discussions about intangibles eg a speakers feelings or beliefs about something, then both body language and tone of voice are often more important than the actual words used.

This is even more so when the three modes of communication (ie words; tone of voice; and body language) are incongruent with each other. In this case, his research experiment showed a 55% weighting on body language, 38% on tone of voice and 7% on words used. eg if someone doesnt look like they are “telling the truth” or doesnt appear to be convinced that what they are saying will work – then we put more weight on what we see (body language) and hear (tone of the voice) than on the actual words spoken.

But when talking about tangibles – eg statements of fact, financial data, research findings etc, the words used and the style of language are of course extremely important. But even in these scenarios the ability to influence and persuade your audience through a convincing voice and confident body language is a vital ingredient to your ultimate success.

So next time you hear, read or see someone mentioning quite categorically that words only make up 7% of our communication you might want to take what they say with a “pinch of salt”.

Where does that leave us with body language?

Body language is still very important in many aspects of our everyday business and social life.

Very often when we’re in a meeting we are conveying feelings about something, making a proposal about something or trying to convince somebody that what we are saying is a good idea. ie we are offering opinions – intangibles – and thus our body language is also “communicating” as we speak.

If your body language is telling your audience the opposite of the words you are speaking or at least starting to raise doubts in their minds about what you are saying, then you are unlikely to be successful in what you’re trying to achieve.

Confident body language can help to engage your audience. It can help you build rapport more quickly. And it can work even if inside you are still feeling quite nervous.

Body language awareness can also give you an edge when negotiating. If you are able to read possible signals from the other people you are dealing with – tt can help you identify possible areas to investigate further to potentially get yourself a better deal.

So how can our body language workshop help?

We will help you become significantly more atuned to how and where body language can affect the messages you are trying to convey.

We will also help you to take control and have more influence with your own body language.

And finally, we’ll provide you with an insight into how to read and respond to the signals being sent out by the very people you are communicating, negotiating or simply living with.

Developing your skills further

To get some expert advice and coaching and enhance your skills, click on one of the links below:-

Body language Courses – Open to members of the public
Communication Skills Workshops – In-house training for companies and organisations

Skillstudio also offer public courses, 1-2-1 coaching and in-house training in many aspects of presentation skills and communication skills, including public speaking, job interview skills, vocal skills and body language awareness.

We hope you found this article useful

Please use the buton below to bookmark this page as a favourite, email it or share it with friends or colleagues.

Is Body Language that important? is one of many articles from Skillstudio Limited providing expert help, tips & advice on how to improve your business communication skills. See Skillstudio Help & Advice for the full list of articles.